How I’m a book snob #amreading #MondayBlogs
I’m just going to go ahead and admit it: I’m a book snob. No, I don’t only read literature. I’m a book snob; not a snob snob. I love a light read as much as the next overworked middle-aged woman. And I’ll read pretty much anything. How in the world am I book snob then? There are just certain overdone, typical plot devices (usually in romance books) that annoy me to death. In fact, they annoy me so much that I literally will not buy a book if it contains one of these themes. See? Told you I was a snob.
- A young heroine (eighteen- or nineteen-years old) who not only dates the older man (anything older than thirty and I’m throwing my kindle across the room), but gets him to stop his whorish ways and fall in love with her. Are we just setting up a ton of young women for heart break? Here’s a clue. Men don’t change for a woman. They have to want to change. Lecture over. Oh wait, on to point 2.
- Virgins. I have no problem whatsoever with a heroine (or hero for that matter) being a virgin. When. It. Fits. The. Plot! So often it doesn’t make any sense and doesn’t add to the story. And of then our virgin is deflowered and the sex is explosive and totally hot. Not one moment of awkwardness. Yeah, right. *snorts in disbelief*
- Cheating. I should probably narrow that down because cheating is – unfortunately – very much a part of life and – as a motive for murder or revenge – it’s awesome because it’s totally believable. A woman scorned and all that. But when a heroine cheats on her man and then falls in love with the hero and the hero and heroine live happily ever after? Um no. Make that N.O. And don’t get me started on a hero who constantly cheats on the heroine, but she takes him back time and time again and yet they have a happy ending. Really? *Rolls eyes*
- Unbelievably successful twenty-year-olds. Twenty-seven-year-old billionaire, twenty-five-year-old managing director, a blog with 750,000 followers after just a few months. And that’s not the worst part. Nope. Most of the time these far-fetched success stories aren’t even necessary for the plot itself. Heck, it might even be a good book if I could just ignore the fact that a 25-year-old woman cannot possibly have saved enough money to start a high-end clothing store in one of the most expensive cities in the world. Who said time is relative? Because it ain’t that flexible.
I won’t even get started on princes falling in love with the simply, country girl. I am a citizen of a country with royalty. Trust me, they’re just normal people. And not all that good looking (sorry if I just ruined your fantasy). And now I’m starting to wonder if I’m not a snob, but just a teensy weensy bit cynical. Nah, I’ll stick with snob.
I read this about fourteen hours ago…LOL…and have been trying to get back here ever since!
You hit every one of my reading pet peeves square on the proverbial head!
What escapes me about all the young “heroines” we’re seeing so much of is how they’re supposed to make all these life-altering decisions during the course of the story, and the average female that age cannot even decide what to wear to the movies. “Flip flops? skechers? Leggings? Jeggings?” No, everyone doesn’t have to be 40-50 years old. No one wants to read about Hilda and Buddy and the Case of the Pooped out Penis Pump, but characters who have lived long enough to be INTERESTING without some contrived dark tragedy from long ago haunting them would be nice. Trust me, if you get to 35, there are plenty of things to haunt you…and they’re all quite recent.
Number 2 truly sends me into the stratosphere! I was just discussing this on another author’s blog earlier. Little heroine is a naive, young thing before she meets book-boyfriend, and after having sex ONCE, she’s acting like an international porn star! Come on! She had never even seen real manly bits before, but now she’s giving oral like it’s her day job? *KERPLUNK!*
I’m not one for cheating either, but as you said, it is a part of life. However, I have to go to my happy place when the storyline has HIM or HER or BOTH of them sleeping with other people so they can “move on”, and two chapters later they’re back together professing their UNDYING love for each other. No, thank you. I also get a migraine when the story opens with “vindictive wife” or “philandering husband” already engaged in multiple flings/affairs, yet the long-suffering spouse stays in the marriage for the kids/controlling parent/inheritance…until THE ONE shows up. Then, they cannot get out the door fast enough.
As for all the successful, wealthy young’uns? I just tell myself it’s Neverland, and I’m too old to go. Whatever, Peter.
I get it. Reading is escapism. It’s supposed to take us to places and introduce us to people and situations that make us forget about the ordinariness of our lives. But aren’t we also supposed to grow? Aren’t avid readers supposed to be smarter than the average bear? (Really showing my age with that one!) I can expand my mind and loosen my beliefs more than enough to read about the wolf shifter finding his fated mate and getting his HEA…but, if he’s a 47-year-old man-whoring biker, and she’s a 19-year-old trust fund virgin, there will be much Kindle flinging, and many bad words said!
If this adds up to book snobbery, so be it. We could always start a club, get some cool matching bracelets, and sign up for SnapChat!
Oh gosh! I’m so glad I’m not the only one! With the amount of books that have these same themes going through them, I thought I might be. I considered not publishing this after I wrote it thinking I was really being mean. But it’s the truth or at least how I feel! I just can’t get over older men wanting a young thing who probably doesn’t hasn’t done anything or been anywhere … except for that very contrived dark tragedy. Pff…
I’m totally up for starting a club with cool matching bracelets but SnapChat? Do we have to?