Craziest things first-time authors have said to me & how I wish I responded #WriterWednesday #AmWriting #BookMarketing

I didn’t have a single clue what I was doing when I started self-publishing. I literally pushed publish and thought I’d start selling novels. *Rolls eyes* I’ve learned a lot since then. Although I’ve learned a lot from trial and error, I’ve also learned loads from other writers and bloggers. I’m unbelievably thankful to those who have given me a helpful hand. I’m a firm believer in the ‘pay it forward’ concept and as such I started my Readsalot blog to promote other authors in any way I can.

As anyone who has a book blog can tell you, you sometimes ‘hear’ the strangest things. I’m not talking about bullying. I’m referring to those comments that are so out of touch with reality that you can’t help but sit at your computer with your mouth hanging open wondering if aliens have invaded. Although anyone who has met me in person knows I have a BIG MOUTH, online I try to remain professional. So, instead of screaming ‘What planet are you living on?’ at these out of the world comments, I try to provide a rational response.

I can no longer keep my mouth shut, however, and here are the responses I really wanted to make to those outrageous comments:

But if I don’t price my book for $14.99, it won’t make any money. There are just so many things wrong with this statement that I don’t know where to begin. Actually, I do. Are you out of your freaking mind? Have you looked at the average price of ebooks? Dan Brown’s last novel debuted at $15! If you are writing to make money, you’re going to be disappointed. The vast majority of self-published authors do not make enough money to live on. And those who do often have different streams of income (blog advertising, courses, etc.). (Note: This comment does not apply to non-fiction, which is an entirely different kettle of fish.)

But you’ll love my book! I used to take the time and energy to respond to authors with specific reasons why I didn’t want to read their book. No one appreciated my efforts. In fact, many wrote back to say, ‘but you’ll love my book!’ Seriously? Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t even write an email without a ton of typos and grammatical errors! Sure, I’ll read your book and give you a big fat 1 star. Is that what you want? I’ve learned to delete these emails. I also now use the standard ‘I’m not interested in reviewing your book at this time’ spiel.

I’ve always had this email address! I also used to waste time and energy commenting on errors in emails I’d receive from first-time authors requesting a review – not addressed to me personally, contained links instead of blurb, full of typos, etc. I thought I was being helpful, but apparently that’s not how the authors took it. I stopped wasting my time when I informed an author that she should think about having an email address dedicated to her writing instead of the cutesy email address for her and her husband. Her belligerent response was the last straw. Now, I just delete any review requests not directed to me personally and those containing more than a few typos (we can all make a mistake or two).

<Insert political rant here> I actually saw a twitter profile today that stated if you are a democrat or liberal, get off my page! Um, what? I won’t get into how nasty that is and how we should all be open to the opinions of others. What I will say is this: being an indie author is a business, you are an entrepreneur as well as an author, and businesses should be politically neutral. You are entitled to have your opinions. Of course, you are! Unless you’re writing non-fiction political essays, etc., however, you should keep your opinions to yourself. Note: This comment does not apply to racism, sexism, etc. Those are not political statements, but violations of basic human rights.

There are tons more strange comments I’ve received but these are the ones that got my goat today. Please, I need my goat back. Thank you.